Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Lim completed the quiz "What kind of mask do you wear?"
with the result Innocence.
Your mask is innocence. You are innocent but not easily impressionable. You always give people the benefit of the doubt, and are nice to everyone you meet. You never really judge anyone, but you sometimes may judge yourself. Everyone who meets you usually adores you, even if you don't really know it. You always think you may be messing up or doing something wrong, but you're usually not. You don't have a problem restricting yourself from things you think you shouldn't do, although sometimes you're a bit curious. Sometimes people try to take advantage of you, but you don't always notice. Over all you're untainted, friendly, and everyone loves you. .
The description of the quiz was:
What kind of mask do you wear?
Find out what mask you wear, and what it says about the kind of person you really are.
But think about it, its damn paradoxical that the quiz is titled: What kind of
mask do you wear?
Compared with 'what it says about the kind of person you
really are.'
haha. its an example of how im always thinking beyond the norm. (read below and you'll understand)
to be honest, im not innocent at all.
ever since the point of time i started becoming more mature, thinking about more things, i've started to understand the politics and the negative aspects in school, people and life.
i remember i said this before:
" 'Ignorance is bliss.' That is true but it can never apply in our context. Because ignorance is not tolerated in our society. Being ignorant only ends up with you being bullied and losing out in this society."
and those are harsh facts that have to be accepted.
i fear my emotions and thoughts.do you?
its the main thing contributing to my mood swings.
its the main thing that makes me feel that im changing in way that i dont want to.
your emotions, when your control of them is lost, the results can be devastating. in subtle ways, you keep thinking of a person you've been having a crush on or end up emoing. to a greater extent, you may do irrational things like slashing yourself or becoming violent when you're pissed off.
your thoughts, when your control of them is lost, in subtle ways, you daydream. but in extreme cases, you become radical (like terrorists) or even turn insane.
but this just goes to show that fearing your thoughts and emotions is a normal thing.
-
i'd hate to disappoint those people who think im innocent and guai. haha but the truth is that im really not so. in fact i have delved so far into my thoughts that i think most people would be shocked to know that i think so much.
which makes life quite sian especially when you have to review everything that you've been seeing with what you have thought about.
if i had a choice, i would change this world so that there would be no need to think so much, to bear the torture of understanding yet to be unable to do anything.
but that's impossible.
and so we press on in our life, constantly absorbing new information, experiences and thoughts, becoming more mature but contaminating our mind with them at the same time.
its this
exchange of innocence for maturity in our life that saddens me so much. it can be a good and bad thing, but eventually how you utilize this newly gained maturity (or knowledge) is up to you.
would you choose to be like the intelligent criminals, who use the knowledge they've gained from education to commit crimes, abuse their understanding of laws and people's thinking to weave their way out of trouble and take advantage of others?
or would you choose to be the quiet thinker, secluded in your own corner and passing judgments on other people, but do nothing and just reside in your world of me, myself and i? (if you've read and studied Animal Farm before, this is what Benjamin did)
lastly, would you choose to be the mature individual who understands in his own perception what is right, who lives his life in his idea of a morally right way, taking action to protect what you hold dear - your values, your people, your emotions?
most of us would choose the 3rd. some would prefer to be 2nd, to stay normal and live your own life. maybe, some people would eventually end up being the 1st type of person i mentioned, but i guess all criminals are victims in their own rights, of bad influence or of desperation.
what about me? i'll try for the 3rd :)
because i really wna do the best for things i care for.
suddenly, i think that i can become a counsellor or psychologist =P
i really derive alot of joy from helping friends think more deeply and understand why they've been feeling this way or provide them the encouragement or guidance that they need to go over a specific sian period in their life.
and of course, i also love the people that offer me a channel for me to express all my thoughts :D
those who patiently listen to what i've to say, and tell me honestly what they feel too :)
finally, i thank blogger for giving me a online space to epxress my thoughts. it really helps when its digital (especially since you can correct what you want to say easily). sounds like bullshit but yea thanks =P
and i feel like locking this post to friends only but i cant. haha maybe i should move from blogger to something else. but walao, i wna keep my posts, the blogskin which i spent alot of time to design (yea i designed it myself, the html i kope and adapt de)
SIGNING OFF
junan the thinker~
(and if you patiently read all the way here, i hope i left some sort of positive impact on you. and of course i hope you gained a better understanding of me, be it better or worse i dont really care, its who i really am)
Endured till
12:51 AM
With my rifle and my brothers and me~
