partd'08 [13] 笑口常开 :D

Sunday, February 05, 2012

http://sibehniao.livejournal.com/

moved! (actually a long time ago) can lock your posts this way as compared to the troubles of locking the whole blog haha.

tumblr cant accept comments so it's too bad

Endured till 1:57 PM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Sunday, December 18, 2011

nobody reads blogs anymore!
neither do they use messenger.
now its all about facebook or twitter posts, smses or even bbm.

amazing how the trends change so rapidly.

after i finish the reflection for the course, will begin on a general one for the entire duration from the last few posts till now (:

Endured till 1:41 AM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Monday, November 14, 2011

is for my grandma to get well, though i know its impossible. but hopefully she can attend comms parade.

Endured till 8:48 PM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Endured till 8:53 PM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Saturday, September 03, 2011

Don’t cry
Open up your eyes and know
There’s someone else out there that feels this way

I’m singing to you
Cause I know what you’ve been through and now
It’s not so long ago I felt the same

Like soldiers
March on
If we can make it through the night will see the sun
March on, march on

I remember summer nights alone
Fireflies the only thing we own
All we ever dreams of California
I remember winters were so cold
Hunger was the only thing we know
And rock n’ roll dreamin’ was what saved us

Like soldiers
March on
If we can make it through the night will see the sun
March on, march on

Till we see the sun
Till we see the sun

Through the good times,
Through the bad times
Through the long days
Through the hard nights
Keep on till we see the sun

Like soldiers
March on
If we can make it through the night will see the sun
March on, march on

Like soldiers
March on
If we can make it through the night will see the sun
March on, march on

Even when there’s no one there for you march on
Even when the days are long for you march on
Like soldiers
March on

for the juniors taking your a levels,

i know what you've been and are going through, and it's tough but you'll make it through well as long as you push yourself to do your best (:

and for the pitiful guys lamenting their days in ns or the (motivated) cadets in leadership school, march on because scs graduation parade/ocs commissioning parade/ord will eventually come.

sucks to have bronchitis. and the thought that i just pushed myself recklessly through the speed trainings and ippt in such a poor condition is quite frightening.

hope nothing goes awry during tomorrow's aqm (though its a short 10km that pales in comparison to the real 21km for ahm)

Endured till 4:33 PM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Saturday, July 09, 2011

suddenly, having the opportunity to type a blog post opened me up to the insights i've gained over the past 11 weeks.

my right ear is still ringing from my momentary and suicidal carelessness when i forgot to put on the earplugs when firing MAT sub. it's quite bad but i really hope there isnt any permanent hearing damage =\

and as i managed to pick out time to deliberate over things because this is the longest bookout that i've had in 3 weeks, i thought this would be a timely juncture in the entire span of service term, especially right before scorpion king. a good time to reflect and look back at what we've achieved (and screwed up).

there're many things that cant be put down in words in the journal because its being read and it serves a secondary purpose: to communicate your thoughts to the instructors reading your journal. hence there's this sort of apprehensiveness when penning down what you want to write.

firstly, the unique personality of each individual.
having advanced to command school where each individual believes in his ability to lead and having had prior experience standing out as a leader amongst the rest, each of us believes in different styles of leadership and probably has had his success in leading in his respective manner.

along the way, i've learnt to respect the effectiveness of the different styles of leadership. this characteristic was something i thought i always had, but this misconception became clear to me after i felt the disdain towards certain people who preferred to lead in their ways that made me feel uncomfortable as a follower. but eventually, if things are accomplished, if the mission is completed, they have achieved success. that is looking at this from a mission-oriented point of view.

(edited after sk)
but sometimes the experiences of those following you may not be as pleasant as you'd have wished for it to be. should that be a concern of a leader? as a commander, we've been taught that our main concern should always be the mission, which is consistently the first point to be considered or covered in evaluation of a situation. however, out of the context of such missions, im still inclined to ensure that the welfare is given to those under my charge. however, this guiding principle has caused me plenty of trouble when managing my peers because they are in a position to contend my arguments and rationale for making certain decisions. therefore, i've learnt to take a stronger and steadfast stand against those that do not voice out their concerns out of the general interest of the group but that of their own.

selfish people. which is the next point i wished to talk about.
maybe its this hard landing on the ground that woke me up from my idealistic view of how things might work out here. not everyone is truly motivated and sufficiently attached to this community in order to make things run smoothly. people are still preoccupied with their personal needs, some prioritizing it above other responsibilities. i dare not claim innocence to this; it is natural for us to think for ourselves first, because it is human nature to look out for our needs first, to manage ourselves before we can contribute our time to help others. but the perpetual problem is that there're those who rarely choose to stand up to offer a helping hand to others. they only do so when compelled to, or when they are really free.

in the case of the former, they will only sense the need to assist one another because if one individual is unable to achieve a certain standard, the rest will be dragged down as well. in the case of the latter, although it serves to show that the person is willing to contribute, it demonstrates another fact that these people might not rise up to the occasion to help others even if they're struggling to cope by themselves.

on many occasions, i have been guilty of the latter. i only choose to help out when ive fulfilled my personal responsibilities, or when im in a good condition to do so. but it is a greater challenge and of greater importance to be capable of going beyond your responsibilities, pushing each other through during tough times and when you yourself are being pushed to your limits as well. if you only help out when you feel its within your capabilities and comfort zone, what will happen to the mutual support to be given to each other when everyone's facing similar stress and difficult circumstances? this was evident during our platoon field camp, when everyone was stretched and fatigued from having dug their trenches ceaselessly through the night. people started to ignore instructions or begun taking a back seat, silently hoping from the comfort and hidden zones in their deployed area that they would not be pointed out to carry out certain tasks that would involve extra effort. it is really saddening to know that people are still that self centred after having gone through so much together. it goes to show that the relationships that we share have been superficial ones after all.

on the other hand, there are positive things to be mentioned as well. in contrary to what i've mentioned above, many of the times, out of the bonds that we share together with the appointment holders who are our treasured friends, we find the motivation and strength to push ourselves further in a bid to offer them the support that is essential for the success of the mission under their charge.

-

having gone through the 12 weeks of training, i've finally learnt to be more humble and accepting of criticism. it showed me something that i didnt realize all along - i have a really strong sense of pride which is unrelenting, making me a stubborn person who refuses to take in criticism and try to mend my ways such that i'd improve further. i always thought i was fast enough, good enough compared to the rest. but actually im not. after repeated incidents demonstrating my inadequacies, it forced me to acknowledge all these shortcomings. which im really glad for because it has made this whole learning experience a lot more meaningful.

another point for myself to note is that and im not one to be able to handle stressful situations. i must mentally prepare myself for the situation ahead in order to be capable of handling it well. if im caught by surprise, i would panic and lose my rationality and train of thought, throwing my mind into disarray. in the end, i would fail to accomplish the tasks assigned to me because there'd be things here and there that i'd forget to take into consideration.

henceforth, i am going to change for the better. there's no way to go about covering the concrete plans to do so (or maybe im simply lazy), but i must make a mental note never to be too laid back,
be firm as a leader and not to be swayed easily,
keeping my cool and handling complicated and stressful situations through experience,
keeping on the ball and not to follow blindly,
be open to feedback and criticism, thereafter improving in the aspects which im lacking in.

and just by coincidence, its the 400th post. i've come a really long way (:

Endured till 5:04 AM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Sunday, May 22, 2011

it's been 1 month since ocs begun. pretty fast, but the training pace was probably not even close to its peak.

must hold the faith that we will really excel in the things that we do.

SLEEP TIME!

and juniors + j3s performing this coming sunday, do us proud :D

Endured till 12:59 AM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Monday, April 18, 2011

nothing can better exemplify the saying, "a picture speaks a thousand words", than the moments of nostalgia as you relive the memories in your mind while viewing the photographs of the good times that have passed.

sigh. wonder if we'll get a turnout in 24h or 48h's time. i hope we get some proper sleep tonight though.

Endured till 3:24 AM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Sunday, April 17, 2011

dont know if i'll be able to sleep tonight. just like the night before enlistment.

Endured till 11:54 PM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~

Friday, April 15, 2011

its always the fear of change and the uncertainty faced when leaving your comfort zone that poses an obstacle to looking at the future positively.

from the moment we begin to accept the inevitable transitions in our life from one chapter to the next, the discomfort and the anxiety within might be eased. at least a little.

to hell with the worries about the pathetic bookout timings. from 10am later till our book in timing, there's slightly more than a day to get mentally prepared for the next phase of training.

and by no chance will it affect how im going to enjoy and appreciate the last 3 days of respite that we will have.

bmt has been a thoroughly outstanding experience :D but it was too brief. the time spent with that bunch of guys whom you have just developed rapport with was seriously too short-lived.

i just pray for a good buddy. its even more important this time because the next stage will be a long and arduous one =\

Endured till 1:21 AM

With my rifle and my brothers and me~